Tales from the Darkside: “I’ll Give You a Million” (S1E02)
Tales from the Darkside continues its early run with “I’ll Give You a Million,” the second episode of Season 1. Shifting once again from psychological horror to a more classic, devilish morality tale, this entry leans into themes of greed, mortality, and the eternal question: what would you give for more time? It’s a short but memorable story about selfish men and the price of trying to outwit fate. Let’s explore what makes this episode click (and what doesn’t), and how it fits into the anthology’s larger horror vision.
Plot Summary
The story centers on two old, wealthy men: Duncan Williams (played with sly smugness by Keenan Wynn) and Jack Blaine (played by George Petrie), longtime friends who also happen to be bitter rivals. Their friendship is laced with contempt, one-upmanship, and a shared obsession with wealth and control.
Duncan is terrified of death and obsessed with prolonging his life at any cost. In a moment of opportunistic madness, he offers Jack one million dollars in exchange for Jack’s soul. Jack, suffering from a terminal illness, takes the deal without hesitation. What’s the harm in selling your soul if you’re going to die anyway?
Duncan is smug, thinking he’s cheated death by making this bargain. But shortly after the deal is signed, Jack has a sudden and unexpected recovery. Meanwhile, Duncan begins to suffer from intense health issues. Panicked, Duncan tries to reverse the deal or pass the soul onto someone else, but it’s too late. Death doesn’t make refunds.
In a grim final twist, Duncan collapses and dies—his own soul lost. Jack, now vibrant and healthy, collects his million and watches with satisfaction. It’s the ultimate reversal, a tale of greed turned inside out, where trying to cheat death only ensures its arrival.
What Works
Classic Twilight Zone Vibes
“I’ll Give You a Million” feels like it could have aired alongside classic Twilight Zone episodes. It’s a morality tale with a devilish twist and a wry sense of irony. The idea of bargaining for a soul is nothing new, but the story adds a nice spin by involving two businessmen who treat the deal like a mere contract negotiation. That cold, transactional approach to something metaphysical gives the episode a dark comedic edge.
Sharp Dialogue and Performances
Keenan Wynn and George Petrie are the highlights here. Their performances bring out the ugly humour of two selfish men outwitting (and ultimately dooming) each other. Their banter is biting and sarcastic, revealing how little they care about anyone but themselves. The chemistry between the two actors elevates what could have been a flat concept into something sharp and watchable.
A Fun, Ironically Twisted Ending
Like any good anthology episode, it’s all about the twist—and this one delivers. Jack’s miraculous recovery flips the entire deal on its head. Watching Duncan’s panic rise as his health fails and he realises he’s been outplayed is both darkly funny and thematically satisfying. It’s a classic case of the trickster getting tricked.
What Doesn’t Work
Lightweight Horror
While the story is entertaining, it doesn’t have much in the way of actual scares. There’s no supernatural spectacle or creeping dread—just a moral fable about hubris and greed. Depending on what you’re hoping to get from Tales from the Darkside, this might feel more like a dark comedy than a horror story.
Low Stakes Beyond the Core Duo
The episode is entirely focused on Duncan and Jack, which keeps things tight but also limits the emotional stakes. There’s no one else to root for, and both characters are so unlikable that it’s hard to feel strongly about either of their fates. The ending is clever, but it lacks emotional punch.
Predictability
Though the twist is satisfying, it’s not particularly surprising. From the moment Duncan offers to buy Jack’s soul, genre-savvy viewers will likely see the reversal coming. That doesn’t make it ineffective, but it does lessen its impact. The fun is more in watching the characters dig their own graves than in being shocked by the outcome.
Themes: Greed, Mortality, and the Futility of Control
At its heart, “I’ll Give You a Million” is a tale about greed’s inability to conquer death. Duncan thinks he can buy his way out of mortality, but death can’t be outbid. It’s a timely reminder—especially in a capitalist society—that no amount of money can save you when the reaper comes knocking. The episode also plays with the idea of ownership: can you really sell something as intangible as a soul? And what happens when you try to turn metaphysical truths into legal transactions?
Final Thoughts: A Devilishly Fun, If Slightly Toothless Tale
“I’ll Give You a Million” doesn’t break new ground, but it’s an enjoyable and well-executed entry in the Tales from the Darkside lineup. It leans into its strengths—dialogue, character interplay, and moral irony—without overreaching. It may not be nightmare fuel, but it’s got enough bite to make an impression, especially if you enjoy your horror with a side of black comedy.
Who Would Enjoy This Episode?
- Fans of ironic, twist-ending tales – If you love poetic justice and dark humour, this hits the mark.
- Viewers who like minimal, character-driven horror – No jump scares here, just two guys and a deadly bet.
- Anyone nostalgic for Rod Serling-style morality plays – This episode is straight out of that school.
Who Might Not Enjoy It?
- Those seeking supernatural thrills – The horror here is conceptual, not visceral.
- Fans of complex storytelling – The plot is very straightforward and lacks deeper layers.
- Viewers who want someone to root for – Neither of these guys is particularly redeemable.
Final Verdict: A Clever, If Predictable, Cautionary Tale
With solid performances and a satisfyingly ironic ending, “I’ll Give You a Million” offers a brief, enjoyable dose of karmic justice. It’s not scary, but it is wickedly fun—a reminder that the Devil’s in the details, especially when the rich try to buy their way out of the inevitable.
