Tales from the Darkside: "My Ghostwriter – The Vampire" (Season 3, Episode 14)

Tales from the Darkside: “My Ghostwriter – The Vampire” (S3E14)

“My Ghostwriter – The Vampire” is one of those Tales from the Darkside episodes that leans heavily into dark comedy rather than straight horror. It’s a sharp, satirical jab at fame, greed, and the publishing industry, wrapped in a cheeky vampire premise. While it may not be the scariest instalment in the series, it stands out for its tongue-in-cheek tone and entertaining performances.

Plot Summary

Our story follows an unsuccessful pulp horror writer named Frank, who’s suffering from a serious case of writer’s block. His work is cheesy, derivative, and—according to his editor—completely unsellable. But Frank’s luck changes when he meets Nicholas, a real-life vampire who offers to be his ghostwriter… in exchange for a little discretion, and the occasional snack.

With Nicholas feeding him gruesome, authentic tales of vampire life, Frank’s career suddenly skyrockets. His books become bestsellers, and he basks in the glow of literary stardom. But as with all Faustian bargains, the price of success eventually comes due—and Frank may have bitten off more than he can chew.

What Works

Fun, Fast-Paced Storytelling

This episode wastes no time getting into its premise. The setup is quick, the characters are clearly drawn, and the pacing stays lively throughout. There’s a nice rhythm to the script, and the banter between Frank and Nicholas is both witty and loaded with irony.

Vampire as Ghostwriter = Inspired Twist

The idea of a vampire helping ghostwrite horror novels based on his real-life experience is gold. It’s a clever inversion of the “monster among us” trope, making the vampire not a threat but a collaborator (at least initially). This fresh take gives the episode an identity all its own.

Great Performances

Both leads do a terrific job. Frank is suitably desperate, smarmy, and morally questionable, while Nicholas plays the refined, world-weary vampire with a perfect balance of menace and mirth. Their dynamic carries the episode.

Satirical Edge

This is one of Darkside’s most pointedly satirical entries. It skewers the publishing world, celebrity culture, and the commodification of horror itself. Frank doesn’t care about authenticity—he just wants to sell books. Nicholas, on the other hand, wants to tell his story… but on his own terms. Their clash of values adds depth to the humour.

What Doesn’t Work

Not Very Scary

This is firmly in the “dark comedy” category. If you’re tuning in for genuine scares or suspense, you won’t find them here. The horror elements are played for laughs, and while that works for the story, it may disappoint viewers looking for chills.

Predictable Ending

While the twist is thematically satisfying, it’s not particularly surprising. Anyone familiar with tales of Faustian bargains or vampire lore will likely see it coming. The ride is fun, but the destination is familiar.

Short on Atmosphere

Some Darkside episodes are dripping with eerie ambience. This one opts for a brighter, more comedic tone, and the setting feels more like a sitcom than a horror anthology. That choice makes sense for the story, but it does remove some of the series’ signature moodiness.

Themes: Greed, Fame, and Selling Your Soul (or Blood)

At its heart, “My Ghostwriter – The Vampire” is about the price of success. Frank doesn’t just borrow ideas—he exploits a supernatural being for personal gain. It’s a commentary on how people often use others’ stories, trauma, or identity to get ahead, especially in the world of entertainment and media.

Nicholas, despite being a literal vampire, is portrayed as the more ethical of the two. He wants to share his truth but finds himself taken advantage of by a glory-hungry hack. The real bloodsucker here might not be the guy with the fangs.

Final Thoughts: A Clever, Comedic Take on the Vampire Trope

This episode is a standout for viewers who enjoy horror with a satirical twist. It’s light on scares but heavy on wit, with an engaging premise and some solid performances to back it up. While not every joke lands and the plot follows familiar beats, the concept alone makes it worth a watch.

It may not redefine the genre, but “My Ghostwriter – The Vampire” shows that Tales from the Darkside wasn’t afraid to have a little fun with its format. Sometimes, the real horror isn’t monsters—it’s marketing.